Three Doors and The Birth Of Songs
It was the beginning of 2018. A New Year. This was a few years prior to the four-year-cocoon season. But even then, the Lord was starting a process in me.
I had been working in education for the past 14 years, and at the time had been out of the classroom for about two and half years; working at the district office. I was on Christmas Break and so, I was enjoying my time sitting at the kitchen table just relaxing. While there, the Lord showed me a picture in my mind of three doors. He asked me what door I would like to choose:
On door number 1, "Teacher" was written on the front of it. And He spoke to my heart, "I will give you favor in the classroom again, and you can finish out your years helping students again and letting me touch their hearts through you." This was something I did previously for twelve years, and those were precious times as I loved every student the Lord put in my path. And yes, I said every student.
Door number 2, "CEO." And He laid on my heart, "I will help you build companies and give you favor there. You will have divine appointments everywhere you go."
But as door number 3 opened, all I saw were flames of fire; HUGE flames..."Or you can let me consume you with my all - consuming fire and I will completely transform you."
It was an obvious decision. I choose door number 3.
Flames of fire. Yikes. Did you know by the end of that very summer, I completely unravelled. He revealed that if I did not go back and face my past, there would always be a ceiling over my head because there were layers upon layers of trauma I never wanted to deal with.
So, one day as I was thinking about how I was finally going to get professional help, I realized how freaked out I was. I was asking God to please be with me as I stepped into the terrible place I didn't ever want to "see" again. And I needed His Spirit to saturate me so I could stay strong in Him as I was about to take a step into some very dark places. At the time, I just happened to be sitting at the piano, and for some reason, I starting plunking some random notes. Then, I played the same ones again. Over and over I played them. Wait, what is this?! I thought. And as I repeatedly played the sequence of notes, all of the sudden, words started flowing out of my mouth, "Holy Spirit, saturate me." I grabbed a pen and paper, and out came the very first song.
I had no idea at the time God was starting a journey that would forever change my life.
PRAYER:
Dear Lord,
You are just so gracious to us. Your love is so much more than we could ever comprehend. I pray for every person reading this right now. Holy Spirit, touch their hearts and yes, saturate them to their inmost being; the depths of their soul. You love them and are with them.
We all have a past. For some, there was so much warmth and support, while for others, it was very dark and cold. And then, there are all of those in between. You know the exact spot of where each of us is at, individually, and what we need. Please continue to bring us all to a spot where we can become ready to face anything we are supposed to face; as you lead and guide us. You don't ever condemn nor do you make us feel bad for the sake of feeling bad. But instead, you want to bring things into your glorious light - so it can be consumed with your amazingness; and replaced with your unconditional love.
There's always a new level of freedom you want to bring us to, and a life we didn't realize was possible...through your healing and grace.
In the mighty name of Jesus!!
AMEN
FAITH IN ACTION:
For this next month, this will be a little different. Yes, please continue reading through the New Testament. But focus on the Scripture below, and ask Him to truly search you and know you. What makes you angry, what makes you frustrated, when are you impatient? When do you compare, when do you look down on people, when do you judge? What comes out of your mouth when talking with people and what do you do to make yourself feel good? Do you expect things from people, what type of validation do you need, what are your thoughts of others who are not like you? There is zero condemnation. None. Absolutely nothing. This is literally just a "take stock of our normal human condition."
As you "take stock" in this next month, typically how we behave or what we choose is merely an indication of how much more God may want to consume and heal us. And here's the catch, it's only Him who can reveal and it's also only Him who can heal. But as you keep your eyes on Him, ask Him to make you more aware of the truth of where you're at. There just might be a ceiling that He wants to break through you too. And it's a beautiful thing!
Over these next several months, I'll be posting where this all leads, the process of where He took me, and the specific things He needed to heal in me and how He did it. But it started with Him revealing to me the ceiling.
Unraveling isn't fun, but it's absolutely incredible how He puts us back together: transformed!
Search me and know me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way way everlasting.
Psalm 139:23-24
JESUS CHRIST
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